Day 18 – Tuesday – YOGA …. my belly IS ACTUALLY disappearing!

Well, I let myself rest after my injury last week, and my neck is still very sore, yet I decided it was time to get back to Yoga.  I wanted to feel my body and how it moves now after this two weeks of eating in this way.

I have resisted the very strong urge to measure myself and weigh myself, and I often don’t trust how I see myself in the mirror… so, how I feel in my body is my best indicator.

Helloooo forward bend!

Whoo freaking hooo, I could get my chest on my thighs without feeling like my stomach was pushing up in to my throat and suffocating me!  My hands slipped reasonably easily under my heels.  There was no pain in my abdomen when doing any of the compression poses…. miracle!  It feels like my intestines are happy…

(For an amusing take on my earlier belly yoga check out this post!)

I remember my old yoga instructor in yoga teacher training (ten odd years ago now) telling us that abdominal/core strength was not just about the outside muscle development, it has a lot to do with intestinal health… so INSIDE-out strength.  Apart form having good internal muscular control thanks to bandhas, correct use of my pelvic floor and so on, the only thing to help that is a good diet.  Something I have tinkered with around the edges for a decade, yet never committed full on to a way of eating that would make a significant difference (ten days on the Master lemonade cleanse detoxy thing was AMAZING, yet of course I went straight back to old diet habits straight after).

So I THINK THIS IS WORKING!!!

Feeling like that in my body also helps recover the motivation to stick at it.

Emotionally ….

Yesterday was like a baptism of fire.  So interesting. A HYPER emotional day.  So many tears and ‘I can’t be bothered’ thinking.  Everything was wrong.  Everything was too hard.  I was useless.

I did a personal growth seminar years ago and remained involved for many years.  (www.isaexperience.com).  They talked about your comfort zone, and how, when you are pushing your face up on the edge of your comfort zone … QUITTING WILL COME UP BIG TIME … and your little voice will be doing it’s most persuasive self-talk to convince you why you should retreat and go back to where it’s safe and comfy.

Yesterday, my emotions were smashing my face up against it (or I was smashing my face up against it thanks to my generating my emotions), and whilst quitting in itself was never an option (not once did I think I would actually eat the cake), MY LITTLE VOICE WAS SCREAMING FOR CAKE FULL OUT!!.  It was like I was testing my self, and as the pain got worse, the discomfort got worse, the desire to eat cake got more…..

Today it feels like I’ve pushed through to the other side, and I’ve just gone back to getting on with it.

I got such a fantastic insight yesterday though.  Just how much (not healthy) food equates to comfort and nurturing and self care for me.

Craving a capsicum

I actually have been craving red capsicum strips today! (for anyone not Australian – that’s a red pepper).  They are so sweet!! And Crunchy! And so full of juice and yumminess.

Yeeeehaaaa

Lord knows what I’ll have to say tomorrow… lets’ see what unfolds.

Food Diary

Breakfast:  A tiny mouthful of tuna, because whilst normally I wouldn’t eat before a yoga class, Whole30 says to prepare by eating a small amount of protein.  It was hardly any.

Breakfast catch up/Post-workout meal:  Two egg and bacon cradles, three pieces of home baked and pickled (with apple cider vinegar) beetroot (also recommended to eat with protein as post-workout for the carb density).  A few strips of capsicum, some celery and carrot sticks….. and note this people … I’m happy about this!!!  veggie sticks!!!!  who knew?*

Late Lunch:  Beef/Pork mince skillet with leek, capsicum, grated carrot and grated zucchini, and Piri Piri spice mix.  Really yummy!

Dinner:  Chicken Korma – Korma paste from a jar (all happy ingredients), Mushrooms, Capsicum, Onion, Tomatoes and Coconut Cream (devine!), served on Cauliflower rice.

Snack:  Dried Mango

Exercise diary

90 minute Bikram yoga class

35 minutes bike riding – to/from yoga and to/from Butcher

 

*Reading that even made me laugh

Day 17 – Monday – GIVE ME CAKE … I don’t want to feel this

Well folks, today pretty much sums it up.

My cravings have been pretty well at bay for most of the Whole30.  Yes, I have been allaying a desire for a little sweet with my banana coconut mix most days, yet, the level of sweet that has is nothing on what a big fat piece of my favourite chocolate chip banana cake with peanut butter frosting at the local cafe would be producing….

TODAY … I WANTED THAT PIECE OF CAKE… NOWWWWWWW.

And today, was yet, another high-emotion day.  Like, so full of emotion and emptiness and confusion and ‘what next’ kind of feelings I just wanted to EAT.  All I wanted to do was eat.  Sugar.  Cake.  Hot Chocolate.  NOW.  Comfort.  Comfort.  Comfort.

The worst day of wanting off-limits food since I started, and undeniably the most emotional day I’ve had so far.

One of the things I wanted out of this journey was to see how much food impacted my emotions, and if by eating this way they would smooth out.

Now it’s interesting to see the flip side … really BEING PRESENT with emotion without numbing them out with food! Maybe my emotions will be more intense!!

Of course I know that it’s my thoughts that create my feelings……..

Food Diary

(I keep forgetting to do this!)

Breakfast:  Left over ‘chop suey’ – an old family favourite of beef mince, cabbage, spinach and curry powder.

Lunch:  Speck, spinach, leek omelette with avocado and smokey spicy tomato harrissa (latter bought at the market)

Dinner:  Seared salmon with mango avocado salsa (ridiculously good! thanks again to NomNomPaleo)

Exercise Diary

Just a quick bike ride to the cafe and butcher and back … 20 minutes.

Day 8 – Sweet cravings and a whole world of Teeeeaaaaa

Sugar cravings are retreating

They are definitely diminishing.   I am actually so very excited about the re-adjustment of my taste-buds to find that pumpkin is sweet enough!  I don’t want sugary chocolate bars.  The natural sweetness in red and yellow capsicums (peppers) are even starting to taste ‘very sweet’!

I am definitely still wanting the joy of sitting down to a ‘treat’ on an afternoon, with a cup of tea and a slice of home made <insert-variety-of-baked-sugary-goodness-here>.  Yet, taste-wise, my sweet tooth is diminishing.

Yay.

However, that is not helping to address what feels like mind-numbingly boring options of food.  I mean, meat, eggs, vegetables.  We are loving what we can eat, yes…. there are so many creative recipes.  However as stated above, it really doesn’t come close to replicating that afternoon treat.

Steve and I both found ourselves roaming the supermarket aisles last week, realising that 95% of what was in there was not on our OK list.  So after grabbing our Whole30 approved staples of meat, veggies, eggs and the odd extra like nuts and seeds, we found ourselves hovering for such a very very long time at ….

The tea aisle.

Yes, a whole aisle… of tea.

(Fair enough we were in the hippie organic supermarket … which is pretty big).

Anyhow.

I felt like my eyes lit up.

There is cinnamon tea.  Licorice tea.  Orange/Mandarin tea. Berry tea.  Tomato tea!!!!!  There’s tea to balance your doshas.  Teas to make you sleep.  Teas to enegise you.  Teas that turn you on.  Not to mention all the standard favourites … chamomile, mint, ginger…).  Ok ok, there weren’t any teas to turn you on, but if I looked long and hard enough I probably would have found one…..

And then, behold, there on the yogi tea shelf, right below the green tea.. was ……

CHOCOLATE TEA!!!

Yes folks, you saw that straight.  Chocolate tea.

The light was shining from behind the box, the angels were singing, and a smile crept over my face at the joy of contemplation.

Now after the initial fleeting euphoria  I was rather sceptical.

My overriding thought was, ‘you are just trying to re-create the un-re-creatable’.

By this stage, Steve had joined me with equal pleasure at the wide display of variety, bright colour, and flavour sensations on offer.

My taste buds were tingling.

We had a long negotiation in the aisle.  “We can’t buy ten boxes of tea.  They are like three euros a packet.  That’s ludicrous.”  “But babe, it’s worth it to feel we have some exciting choices while we are on this thing.  It’s good for you”.  “We’re saving money by not eating out”…

We ended up deciding we could each pick three.

So,…. I thought WTF.  This chocolate tea could well be the revelation that changes everything.  I’ll give it a shot.

Steve grabbed his tomato tea. Yes tomato tea.

Well folks, you well be so very glad to know, that the chocolate tea actually lived up to its expectations!!

With my reduced sweet cravings.  Waving that hot cup of chocolatey goodness under my nose gives me the divine experience of consuming chocolate, without any dairy or sugar, AND it’s not too sweet!! It feels good! Just enough to keep a very happy me when the need for a little treat arises.

Praise the tea.

Day 4 – Glimpses of good. Insomnia. Tiredness. Sugar cravings.

I want comfort, I want sweet, I want sugaarrrrr.  I want I want distraction.

I’ve also been the most productive I’ve been since I can remember.  I’m feeling the energy for focussing on my projects, my life, my business beginning to BUD.  Just every so slightly.

It really does feel like this foggy blanket is starting to lift.  Just slightly.

Fourth night in a row though of insomnia.  Not sleeping until 3am.

Theory:  usually I can do any of the bad sleep hygiene behaviours before bed (laptop, coffee, bright lights) and still pass out.  Perhaps now, if my energy is improving, laptopping until just before bed is doing what it’s reported to do to most people!!  Stimulating me and keeping me awake?   Tonight I shall ban any electronic devices after 8pm and wind myself down to bed before 10 and see if that works.

Steve passed out

Bless he hit a wall.  He passed out on the lounge room floor when he got home and said he felt really weird.  That was me the night before.  I think we’re both right on target.

Daily food diary

Breakfast:  Leek, pumpkin, spinach omelette

Lunch:  Whole food salad with chicken and avocado (could only eat half)

Dinner:  Pan fried salmon with coconut lemon sauce (soooooo goood thank you PaleoPlan) and mashed pumpkin/sweet potato/spinach.